I had a doubt some time back. If we are to show compassion to others and asked to show the other cheek why did the Gods take up arms? We have read and heard about them going to war with the asuras, demons, dark and evil forces, etc. Wars were fought in the past to subdue evil. We are told that the Mahabharata war was fought 18 times over. I guess at times we need to go to war too to defeat and rid the problem or nuisance once and for all. Amidst all these, we have a gem in the form of Ramalinga Adigal who never hurt a soul. How did the man manage to stay cool amidst all the pounding? I wish I could be like him too.
Dharmam or charity was a word long forgotten in our family circle, surprising as it may be, given that my father was a philanthropist. He had cleared his entire earnings, assets, and properties accumulated as a moneylender for the cause of others. His generosity landed us finally to have to rent a home and move often. We had only one decent meal a day. The leftovers from lunch were packed into rice balls and were passed around the siblings for dinner. I guess when things were never enough to go around the family, the thought of charity never arises too. But my father's good deeds set the way for better things in life. I am indebted to him.
Dharmam was reintroduced after I saw my Nadi. In giving me remedies to subdue my past karma Agathiyar had me do charity in many ways where I began to depart and give away hard-earned money. That was continued with the coming of my guru Tavayogi who carried a legacy of doing charity at his ashram. I took it up too. Arriving back in Malaysia with the coming together of several youths we began a WhatsApp group Amudha Surabhi that took to feeding the poor and other similar programs.
Dharmam took many reforms in our lives and reformed our lives too. If at first we were brought to do charity to have us open up our eyes to the existence of others who are not so fortunate, the act of giving and sharing soon opened our hearts to compassion and daivu that oozed and streamed from within. A friend who returned from participating in doing charity at a movement abroad was so impressed by their work that on returning home he asked Agathiyar to send a person each day to him so that he could feed a soul. This seemed like a noble wish to ask for and a noble act too - initially. But today Agathiyar makes me realize that just as engaging in all the charity programs that we drafted under the banner of Amudha Surabhi for some 7 years only installed and reinforced our ego, similarly, the very prayer asking that God should send someone to receive our donation or food itself builds merits at the expense of the poor and hungry. Agathiyar tells me a better option and prayer would be to ask that God eliminate poverty in totality.
Though it is true that we took birth because we had past karma to live out and because we carried unfulfilled desires or wanted to experience other new things and emotions, I was made to realize that we are here because of the wishes of other souls too. My daughters wanted us to be their parents again. This was revealed in their Nadi readings.
While the ego in us and the "I" boldly declares that it is in charge of our lives, where we are born, and to whom is beyond its pick or choice. This is requested by the Atma for want of certain experiences with certain people. I guess we have to meet some people in our lives for a purpose. What Neale Donald Walsch wrote in his children's parable adapted from his book one of "Conversations with God", titled "The Little Soul and the Sun", holds water and seems true. In the local Malay movie "Sepi" directed by Kabir Bhatia that I watched with my daughter last evening, three strangers cross paths and cause an impact on the other's life. https://www.imdb.com/ reviewed it "All three strangers are inevitably linked to a single dramatic moment that transforms their lives forever." There are many similar movies that I have mentioned earlier in the earlier blog and this.
When I was offered another job at the beginning of my career in 1980, I contemplated whether to leave my new job of just a few months and take up the new offer. Studying the pros and cons but as I was still undecided till I came down to Kuala Lumpur, I walked into the Maha Mariamman temple at Jalan Bandar in Kuala Lumpur and asked for divine guidance. On coming out of the temple, I saw a wayside astrologer in front of the temple. I let him decide for me taking his words as God's. He told me my life would prosper if I opted for a job beside the sea. That surprised me. I was already working in that locality. I had not given him any hint of both the jobs and their localities. As I was already posted at the naval base I opted to stay put. Now I realize by staying put I had to meet many souls, among them some of whose lives would change me. Seeing their experiences, sufferings and sudden death led me to view God with anger. Seeing me going cuckoo and confused prompted Lord Shiva to come in a dream to put a stop to all my anger and confusion. This I believe would not have taken place if I had accepted the job in Kuala Lumpur. I would have met other souls and encountered other experiences with them. It was only because I stayed back that I had those extremely essential experiences for my soul advancement. I guess I could now piece together the puzzle of the individual who carried my name and had the same number of siblings, and had many other details matched except that he was married to one Manohari. I guess I would have met the Manohari mentioned if I had chosen to be in Kuala Lumpur. Just a wild guess.
After a 14-year break, Lord Shiva took me in his folds and had Agathiyar and two wonderful gurus in a physical form lead me to where I am today. On this journey of learning, we realized that the goal post keeps shifting. When we think we have arrived at the answer, as mentioned in the movie "Hidden Figures", what happens is "Every time we get a chance to get ahead they move the finish line." When we think we have understood something it turns out that that is not it. Eventually after shedding and negating everything we thought and held to be true and right what stands alone shall finally be the truth. If I thought I was in charge initially when things did not move as I wished for I thought God did not listen and was ruthless and merciless. Then it turns out that God is not and never interferes in our lives. We are told that it is our desires that take hold of us and chart our journey. I was told that it is fate, destiny, and karma that springs from these desires that have an upper hand. This was true until it dawned on us that the other souls too have a great impact on the experiences we shall gather and how our lives shall turn out to be.
In the face of adversity, where do we turn to? Who do we turn to? Family and friends might give a listening ear or aid financially but what if things are beyond their assistance? When all means and ground are covered unsuccessfully we then look towards God. If that is to happen someday, why wait till we are driven to a corner and meantime made to face our sufferings alone? Why not bring God to stay with us rather than invite him into our lives only when faced with danger and suffering? Ain't it better to prevent than to cure? How do we engage with him? Where is God? Is he out there? If yes, where? We are shown the places of worship as abodes of the Gods which the genius in us doubts. We are shown the sacred texts that are equally hard to comprehend. We are brought outdoors and asked to see God in nature which we cannot comprehend either. We are shown to the skies and heavens where we strain our eyes to look for any signs of him. We are told to see God in others which is the hardest part. We are shown the lamp and asked to worship the flame that is incomprehensible too. We are asked to sit alone and see God within which is the toughest thing to do. But for a hungry man, God is not in all these signature items but in the food that comes in a timely manner to appease his hunger. God is in the drop of water that quenches his thirst. To the dying man the breath is God. So it seems God is all around and in many forms. One has just to take hold of one of the many vines and start his climb to reach God. The most compassionate one will then reach out to us too. As Tavayogi told us that our efforts are only till the Svadhisthana chakra the divine shall meet us 2/7th of the way. Henceforth God shall lead us.
Just as in tracking a hill many might make it; some might drop out; some might get lost without a guide; some might be able to track following signs left by previous trackers or gurus; some might come to the end of their lives while tracking taking on the unaccomplished desire with them; this is life's journey. It is so colorful. It is so diverse. There are so many options. Accomplishment is solely based on each individual's level of satisfaction and contentment in arriving at the destination. There is no standard gauge or yardstick. After trekking for days on end how does it feel to have reached the destination or peak that we laid our eyes on? A sense of fulfillment and accomplishment envelops us. But as the joy settles we set our eyes on the next peak. That is human nature ever wanting to scale new heights and peak after peak.
The path is varied. Initially, it might attract many but eventually, only some sustain the heat of the journey. The journey needs discipline and concerted effort sustained by the practice of regimes. Only some come through the ordeal. Many drop out. But none of the efforts is wasted we are told. We are not to condemn those who opted out. They shall come by when they are more mature and ready to take on the challenge.
