Coming out of the pandemic unscathed, I thought that I had wasted the past 2 1/2 years doing nothing. Not that I was a person who patronized smalltalk at teashops, or oved window shopping at the malls, but I had to tell others not to come over as numerous restrictions were in place then.
Malaysia first went into a partial lockdown after the Covid-19 pandemic hit. This saw the public forced into complying with numerous unprecedented measures introduced by the government to contain the virus’ spread. - www.malaymail.com
I got to spend a lot of time with my grandchildren and learned many things from them during this time.
When Agathiyar came, I told him the same too. He replied that it had not gone to waste and stopped at that. Speaking to Mahindren later about having wasted precious time, he replied, "Why do you see it as such Anna. You have learned to drop many things during this time." Now that was an eye-opener for me. I guess I like many others believed that spiritual advancement was akin to material advancement where we keep chasing after things or grabbing on to things that come by, be it posts, wealth, property, etc. He made me realize that the opposite is true. To be spiritual is to drop everything. And Agathiyar made me do it late September 2019. Now I understand what Tavayogi meant in his collection of gems carried in his book "Andamum Pindamum".
இனித் துறப்பதற்கு தன்னிடம் என்ன பாக்கி இருக்கிறது என்று சிந்திப்பவனே சிந்தித்து துறப்பவனே உண்மைத் துறவி. உள்ளத்துறவு வேண்டும் இல்லையேல் கள்ளத்துறவு ஆகும்.
A true monk, ascetic, hermit, recluse, or anchorite is one who sheds everything and thinks about what more can he give.
Months before the advent of the Covid virus, Agathiyar had asked us to close shop in September 2019. Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) closed the shutters and dissolved the WhatsApp group. Soon the lockdown came on 18 March 2020. Prior to this Agathiyar had given us certain practices and asked us to go within. He asked us to stop both puja and charity. It was enough he said. Others would continue our work, he added. And true enough others came along to continue and service the poor who we thought we had let down and deserted by our withdrawal. Puja too was done in their own homes by those who came by earlier and picked up the procedure as even the temples were closed to the public. I took to trying to sit and observe my breath as Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal taught us. It was as if Agathiyar had given us some indoor games to play on a rainy day. It was beautiful. I soon became more aware of my breath. I guess I could go beyond taking in the air and reaching out to the prana that rode on the air and oxygen. Soon I did not need to exercise what was taught as I could tap into the prana in the air. Standing before an open window and inhaling the gust of wind made my body shiver in this energy and brought immense joy and bliss.
In the earlier days of doing puja, I would come out of my prayer room drenched in a bliss that I regretted I could not share. I would tell my wife if only I could pass it to her simply with a touch. Many years later each time Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and the deities came as energy within others they began to transmit it to all present. When they come we are asked to gather around and hold our hands together. They would pass on the bliss to those who are able to connect. For that purpose, they continued to give us many tips to transform the body and make it a vehicle for the transmission of this energy. All our senses became enhanced. Sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. We began to experience anew the ordinary things anew, though they might be the same old things. Everything was heightened. Just as the mountain though appears a mountain again but we begin to relish the experience and respect it after returning from a hike up, now we began to see things anew and with respect, gratitude and thanks. So all was well indeed in the end.
Agathiyar literally did some deep cleansing in me too. I was purging and vomiting and coughing out phlegm or kapham. My body expelled gas or vatam. I had body pains for no reason. And I threw out bile or pittam. As www.banyanbotanicals.com mentions, "In fact, the particular ratio of vata, pitta, and kapha within each of us provides us with a blueprint for optimal health (otherwise known as our constitution)", Agathiyar set my house right.
Many feel that the pandemic was a reset for the world at large and the individual too provided he took heed of the signs. Shutting ourselves indoors we had more time to ourselves to contemplate and think. A friend took to sit alone in his prayer room and was transported to another world. I had carried his story in an earlier post. If I took the lockdown brought on us by Agathiyar as a blessing, my wife felt that the pandemic was a blessing in part too. She told me that we were getting addicted to our tasks of puja and charity. We began to get a "high" from these activities. Many converged again and again at AVM to carry out both.
Agathiyar came at the right moment and squashed it. We learned to let go which many cannot seem to. We gave way for others to take up puja and charity though we carried on the Homam as requested by Lord Shiva to cleanse and purify the air around us. The Homam done was not to fulfill any individual's request or wishes but for the well-being of all. I recall the reason Tavayogi began performing the Maha Yagam on his ashram grounds. The Tzunami had taken its toll on lives and properties back then in 2004. He wanted to appease Mother Nature and cool her down. Soon the Yagam became an annual affair. He asked me to do it too concurrently. I did as told.
Many asked me how I am keeping these days as the hype of activities surrounding Agathiyar at AVM had subsided. I reply that I entertain my grandchildren as they entertain me too. I watched lots of good movies that made me sit up and think. I have mentioned them in this blog too. I listen to good music that besides being melodious was uplifting and soul-stirring. I am well-fed thanks to my wife who keeps me company in bed too. What else does a man need? I can only thank Agathiyar for all the blessings that have come my way from the elders, gurus and upagurus, parents, family, and friends. If I were to leave this world I shall leave happily. And to those who come by to send me off, I would request that they do not shed a single tear for I have lived well. Grief only for a child for the Lord has chosen to take him young, but there is no necessity to grieve for the old for they have lived life to the fullest. I tell those who complain about their illness to be thankful that it had come only now and not sooner in their prime or youth that would then have crippled them for life. I tell them to thank them for those years that they were well. Isaikavi Ramanan often mentions his father in all his talks and interviews. He says of his father that he was composed in all situations, always having a "cheerful disposition". I wish I could be like him too. When he asked him how he was able to be like that, his father would reply, "Life is not as bad as you envision. It is only the first 75 years that it is tough on you." (டாய், நீ நினைக்கிற மாதிரி வழக்கை அவ்வளவு மோசம் இல்லேட. என்ன முதல் 75 வயசு வரைக்கும் தான் கொஞ்சம் சிரமமாக இருக்கும்.) Watch from 4.21 mins at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJjbmwFsIXk&t=2s
Ramanan's father reminds me of Tavayogi. He would brush aside troubles that knocked on his ashram doorsteps immediately and tell us that Agathiyar shall take care. He would not speak another word about it nor look desperately for a solution. That is the amount of faith he had in his guru. I wish I had that much.
