If at all what was said in the Nadi did not materialize, I told myself that I had only myself to blame. I reasoned that I had not put in sufficient effort or did not start the venture on time as told. In short, I did not listen to their words, hence it did not take place. Another reason could be that Agathiyar might be bargaining with Lord Brahma to make it happen. But if Lord Brahma refuses to move what can Agathiyar do? Many have shown their disappointment at Agathiyar for failing them after they come to him for blessings on their new purchases, businesses, their new ventures, marriage proposals, partners, etc. But they come to him only after they had visited these and shown some interest, made deals, or given their heart. The most compassionate father shall bless and send them off. When things go wrong they confront Agathiyar. It wasn't Agathiyar's will but our own will that was in play. Siddha and poet Mahakavi Bharathi says it beautifully in this verse of his song "Ninnai Charan Adainthen, Kannama." தன்செய லெண்ணித் தவிப்பது தீர்ந்திங்கு நின்செயல் செய்து நிறைவு பெறும்வண்ணம். Doing his heart's desire, and getting agitated that his endeavors kept failing, Bharathi surrendered to the Almighty and did Her asking instead, hence gaining utmost satisfaction and regaining his peace. If we fail to do God's will but go after our own desires, thoughts, and likings, then of course we have to accept failures and disappointments. At times a failure could be a blessing or a relief from something more disastrous. He could have saved us from a bigger tragedy or bigger losses.
Though I had shared my Nadi readings of those portions where I thought readers could benefit and follow if they wished to such as on puja, I had kept other portions regarding the changes taking place within away from the public eye for I thought they were personal and might vary from person to person. We don't want others to have an expectation right? Tavayogi too might not approve of me sharing them for he never shared his experiences in public though he spoke about the Siddhas and their teachings to them at large. But recently Agathiyar wanted me to share my experiences in going within. Hence I began to post the readings from day one wherever there was mention of internal changes taking place for it is a long process and doesn't happen overnight or come on as a blast. It is a gradual process taking into consideration the mental and physical preparedness of the sadhaka or aspirant to avoid disastrous results. Most of the time I did not see the said changes happening. I might not have been paying attention or aware or it might be happening subtly. It could also be that it was a forecast. Or I might not be placing sufficient effort to warrant it to happen. I took all this in my stride, never upset that it did not happen or becoming frustrated. I never researched what was said or dwelt on it for long. I took their word as the Bible and followed whatever was told. I guess the Siddhas were happy as they continued guiding me through these Nadi until they began to come through devotees and speak to us.
Hence everything fell into place well. Today I understand what was told or described back then as experience and maturity in the field have taught us much. Since my gurus and the Siddhas have left something behind, I guess I can only leave this blog and the postings, the writings, and teachings of Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, the Siddhas, Supramania Swami, and Tavayogi behind for someone out there to gain insight or further understanding. That is service to both mankind and guru I guess.
