WHERE DO I STAND?

I wasn't one who went after publicity. I chose to stay out of the limelight. I was happy with my career and family. I didn't have any ambition. I did not join the race for everything. I preferred to watch rather than join the mad rush. But to my astonishment, everything fell into my lap. It is true what Ramalinga Adigal said, "Whenever you say it is enough you shall tend to gain more." போதும் என்ற மனமே பொன் செய்யும் மருந்து. நீ போதும் என்று சொல்லும் நிலை உன்னை அறியாமல் நீ பெற்றுக் கொண்டுதான் இருக்கிறாய். Indeed it has been this way all this while. The job I held for some 36 years came my way. My colleagues were gems. The house fell into my lap. My parents, wife, children, and grandchildren were god sent. Agathiyar sent his youthful children over to my home AVM to join me in Puja and I became a youth too. Playing with my grandchildren I became a child. I am grateful to the divine for taking care of me, my family, and my friends.

When Tavayogi took me on an exploration of the Siddhas caves and abodes in 2005 he turned to me and said, "Now the true journey begins." I did not understand then. Now I do. Tavayogi had me do charity and feeding beginning at his ashram which was a new experience too. For an introvert like me, I felt I was not knowledgeable enough to speak about the Siddhas when Tavayogi asked me to speak before others at an opening of his branch peedham in Banting in 2007. Moreover, I was a freshie on the path just having come to it 5 years back. But as he had announced it I had to say something. I spoke a few lines about him and continued with the recitation of the Maha Mantra Arutperunjothi. All those gathered followed suit. I had never lit a homam in our lives. He asked me over the phone to carry out a homam at my home simultaneously as he carried it out at his ashram at Kallar. He came over in 2010 and help me fine-tune it. In 2009, Agathiyar had a statue of him made and asked us to bathe him. We never bathe an idol before. I turned to Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar for some pointers. It was a new journey and a new experience indeed. If I was practicing Yoga with whatever little I picked up from books before I came to the path, Tavayogi officially showed us Yoga Asanas and Pranayama and many years later Acharya Gurudasan Years helped us polish the moves and postures and our breathing patterns. Agathiyar asked me to pass it on to Mahindren and later asked him to teach others at AVM. Both Agathiyar and Tavayogi kept creating openings for me to take the centre stage. When I was with my family at his ashram in 2013, Tavayogi asked us to carry out the Nitya puja or daily puja to the Siddhas. As by now we were proficient in singing the praises of the Siddhas and reciting their names, we saw it as an honor to sing at our Thai Veedu. Later when Tavayogi completed his new ashram and did the consecration ceremony in 2016, the AVM family was given the honor to lead in the singing of songs while the Yagam was lit. We saw it as an honor for us to be given the opportunity at Agathiyar's annual celebration. This is how they groomed me to take the lead. We always gave visitors to AVM the privilege to light the Homam and bath Agathiyar. When Tavayogi came to Malaysia with Mataji for the last time in 2016, we took the statue of Agathiyar at AVM to the homes of devotees who invited him over, we gave the host the opportunity to carry out libation and homam witnessed by Tavayogi and Mataji. After the pandemic became endemic devotees began to invite Agathiyar into their homes and carried out libation and lit the homam. My wife and I stand aside as witnesses these days. And so a new journey actually did begin for me, something that we never anticipated or dreamt of. 

Now Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal bring us on another phase of this journey that of going within. Agathiyar says, "All this while you saw to your needs in this world. Now you shall undertake an internal journey. All this while you have gained external knowledge or Ulaga Gnanam. Now you shall gain Gnanam that is going to serve you." இது நாள்வரை நீ கடந்து வந்தது இவ்வுலக வாழ்க்கையின் பயணம். இனி நீ கடக்க போவது உமது உள்பயணம். ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம். Ramalinga Adigal too comes to monitor our progress. "Have you understood the purpose of asking to go within? Do your experience changes within your body? This is only the start. You shall lay the stepping stones and progress at your pace. An effort is needed." " உன் உள் பயணத்தை அறிந்து கொண்டாயா? தேக மாற்றம் உணருகிறாயா? இதுவே துவக்கம். உனது முயற்சியே உனது படி."

Whatever experiences I am undergoing now within me are not because of my effort but by the grace of the divine too. I am asking myself if I deserve it. Intense and constant thought on the divine removes all the shackles that prevent and hold us from venturing further. We need his grace to break the shackles and free us. Indeed Agathiyar on 30.1. 2020 told me "You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence follow the practices that I am to give you." "நீ உலக வாழ்க்கையில் நீர்தேங்கிறாய். இவ்கடிவாளத்தால் உம்மால் மீண்டு வர இயலாது. ஆகையால் யாம் சொல்லும் வழிமுறைகளைச் செய்து வா. That is the compassion of the guru who comes to our aid in times of need and trouble. Agathiyar pointed out to me in my first Nadi reading in 2002,  that none of my Yoga practice and puja saw results till I came to the Siddhas. My past karma stood in my way of gaining and reaping the benefits. The Siddhas helped me overcome my karma and obstacles. If I practiced Yoga by reading books in the past, the Siddhas through Nadi readings taught me the practices that they themselves had carried out and saw the results. They sent Tavayogi to show more asanas and pranayama techniques. Tavayogi showed me rituals carried out by the Siddhas too. That is the compassion of the guru who comes to show us the way. Though they showed me the way and the methods they also gave me full freedom to modify and change accordingly to the need of the moment. They gave us much leeway too. They gave us the freedom to explore. 

Just as Ramalinga Adigal told us it is a long journey, Dr.C.Srinivasan in his book AN INTRODUCTION TO THE PHILOSOPHY OF RAMALINGA SWAMI, mentions that "Ramalinga Adigal has tasted the bliss of all the sixteen stages contemplated by the Vedas by the permutation and combination of the four paths such as Devotion, Action, Meditation, and Wisdom one after another and attained higher and truer perfection with the aid of the Supreme Grace, besides the ultimate goal of all the six heavenly avenues Suddha Siddhanatham, Suddha Vedantham, Suddha Nadantham, Suddha Kalantham and Suddha Bhodantham leading to Divinity.  He has further given an exposition of his admittance into Sanmargam by the bounteous and boundless descent of the auspicious Supreme Being in him which has resulted in his immortality. It was perhaps miraculously easy for the Swami to be blessed with all these experiences." Ramalinga Adigal on charting out the many levels of the soul's journey and its spiritual experiences says that there are still higher stages that he hesitates to express. 

Various states of the soul.	The 16 stages and above of spiritual experiences.	Experiences (Nilai).	Stages.	Paths.
Human beings leading a mundane life without even a thought of its transient nature.	1. Jeeva Sakiram. Normal wakefulness.		1st stage.
	2. Jeeva Sorpanam. Normal dreaming.		2nd stage.
	3. Jeeva Suluthi. Normal ignorance.		3rd stage.
Spiritualist aware of momentary nature of life; conscious of the world and external objects; enjoys gross things.	4. Sutha Sakiram. Perfect wakefulness. 1st state of the soul.		1st stage.	Sariyai.
Seeking to see the Lord and feels inseparable; untiring search for God; enjoys subtle things.	5. Sutha Sorpanam. Perfect dream. 2nd state of the soul.		2nd stage.	Kriyai.
Only God; neither dreams nor desires; soul temporarily one with Brahman enjoys bliss.	6. Sudha Suluthi. Perfect ignorance or sound sleep or dreamless state. 3rd state of the soul.		3rd stage.	Yogam.
Lust & veil covering the soul for generations are shed one after the other; soul cleanse by Arutperunjhoti; spontaneous impulse of love for God; absolute union with Brahman.	7. Sudha Turiyam. Perfect experience. Supra-mental awareness. 4th stage of the soul.	Supreme grace. Arul Oliyal.	4th stage.	Shiva Jnana Nilai.
	8. Para Sakiram. Higher wakefulness.
Enjoys grace of Lord and ecstasy.	9. Para Sorpanam. Higher dream. Supra mental dream.
Shackles removed by Arutperunjhoti; heavenly experiences. Above this stage, God is un-manifested.	10. Para Suluthi. Higher ignorance. Supra mental unknowing.		1st stage.	1st divine path. Sithantham. Sutha Sithantham.
Tasting God; the glory of Arutperunjhoti; self-realization on the soul as an atom brilliant as the sun; soul charged with divine grace; aspirant realizes the greatness of God's grace and his smallness; self-realization or Atma Tarisanam.	11. Para Turiyam. Atma Tarisanam. Supra-mental perfection.	Ananda Nilai.	2nd stage.	2nd divine path. Vethantham. Sutha Vethantham.
Perceive God in the form of light; the soul is saturated with compassion & love; experience of divine life (Uyir Anubhavam); attains purified body or golden body (Sutha Degam); the extent of achievement is dependent on the grace of Arutperunjhoti; sees divinity in all creatures; sees God in the form the aspirant is ready to receive; enjoys supreme grace (Arul Anubhavam); higher stages are heavenly stages and beyond human perception where the mind fails to conceive and all senses cease to function; Uyir Anubavam in Sudha Degam; a transformation to the pure body; love incarnate; the universality of love in all fellow beings; oneness in life; sees the divine in all life forms; sees smallness of one and greatness of God; spontaneous flow of God in him.	12. Guru Sakiram or Shiva Sakiram.		3rd stage.	3rd divine path. Sutha Nathantham.
Descent of divinity in the individual.	13. Guru Sorpanam or Shiva Sorpanam. Supreme dream.		4th stage.	4th divine path. Sutha Kalantham.
Supreme grace flows and prepares the aspirant for the next stage.	14. Guru Suluthi or Shiva Suzhuthi. Supreme tranquility.		5th stage.	5th divine path. Sutha Bothantham.
The body transforms into Pranava Deham or body of grace; merges with Arutperunjhoti; deathlessness or conquest of death. Ramalinga Adigal mentions Muthuthandavar & Tathuvarayar as had attained this state.	15. Guru Turiyam or ShivaTuriyam.	Anandha Nilai. Periya Shiva Anubhavam.	6th stage.	6th divine path. Samarasa Sutha Sanmaarga.
There are still higher stages that Ramalinga Adigal hesitates to express.	16. Sudha Shiva Sakiram. Absolute supreme consciousness.
	Sudha Shiva Sorpanam.
	Sudha Shiva Suluthi.
	Sudha Shiva Turiyam.
	Sudha Shiva Turiyateetam.

(Source: AN INTRODUCTION TO THE PHILOSOPHY OF RAMALINGA SWAMI by Dr C Srinivasan, published by Ilakkia Nilayam, Tiruchi, 1968 (Srinivasan).

I understand fully when Ramalinga Adigal says the journey is long. I look through the above table to see where I stand.  I tell myself that I am way down at the 4th state of experience Sutha Sakiram. When we cannot figure out and envision the many stages he has described before hitting that point that cannot be described, if we are struggling and attempting to conceive the inconceivable of these stages, how can we understand these higher levels. 

When Tavayogi repeats the same thing over and over again in all his sermons, he tells me that we are not listening, hence the need to keep repeating. When Agathiyar tells us that we have been taking numerous births, again and again, listing out some of this to us, he is telling us subtly that we did not listen before. 

THE JOURNEY IN GOING WITHIN 3

It is said that "the path of liberation is not about feeling better but about getting better at the feeling." Now I understand how the senses that become enhanced make for better absorption of the sights, smell, hearing, touch, and taste. The enjoyment derived from worldly affairs goes so deep to the cellular level these days. Let it be in breathing, eating, tasting, hearing, listening and watching, reading, touching, and in sex too, it is touching another level previously not known.

Agathiyar once told me that when the breath travels in both nostrils that is completeness or puranam in breathing. The breath that is accustomed to switching nostrils every two hours begins to travel in the Sushumna rather than either the Ida or Pingala. The breath travels within reaching the inner confines and every nook and cranny of the body right to the cells bringing on a fantastic sensation or Unarvu and creating a vibration or Athirvu. Tavayogi too told me once that breath or Vaasi was God. We know how people struggle to just take a breath often needing inhalers and machines to assist in their breathing. We are gifted if we can breathe well and fully. 

Similarly in taking food, if I had only appeased my hunger previously and if before this we tasted the food in the mouth and felt full when we eat, these days the whole body savors the food or rather the Prana in the food right down to the cells. I guess this is what Agathiyar means when we are told that he feeds the elements that reside in the body each time he cooks and serves food to others. This has resulted in my hunger and appetite being fulfilled after only a few mouthfuls. I now have become an outcast since I sit in silence enjoying the food that gives me thrills throughout my body while others engage in conversations over dinner.  

A technique to bring our awareness to the food we take is taught in the Buddhist tradition that Lama Surya Das writes about in his book, "Awakening the Buddha Within - Tibetan Wisdom for the Western World, Bantam Books, 1997. In his book, he teaches us "Eating meditation". "Eating meditation is a marvelous way of putting ourselves in touch with now-ness. It can really slow us down and make us more aware of compulsive behavior", he writes. This meditation does try one's patience to the limit he says. For instance, he says we are accustomed to eating raisins by the handful. Here we take it one at a time. But before we put it into our mouth we feel it, we look at it as if we have never seen it before. We are taught to direct our total attention to the raisin, which otherwise we hardly do. We are asked to examine it thoroughly. Smell it. Only then do we begin to chew it slowly, actually tasting it for the very first time. Chew till it becomes juice." 

Agathiyar in relating the origin of his temple at Agasthiyampalli to Dr. VN Jayapalan during meditation tells a story. King Kuberan's voracious appetite is satisfied by taking a handful of food prepared by a diseased old man who worshipped the statue of Agathiyar in a hut on the fringes of his kingdom. In taking the food the king takes on the old man's disease too and the old man regains his youth and health. Shortly after the king's karma stands before him and leaves him for good. The king regains his former form. Agathiyar told my wife to serve him cooked food for though it is food for him it shall be medicine for us.

So is it with listening and hearing. The songs that I have listened to all these years come alive with Prana and energy moving me and my emotions often bringing tears to my eyes. Watching movies too makes me shed tears and become emotional. I could not believe that the sense organs could connect with the sound heard and visuals seen over a video call until recently when Gowri Arumugam and her husband decided to stream their walkaround at Tavayogi's Kallar ashram. I could sense the energies at the ashram in Kallar standing in my living room in Malaysia. 

The world around me appears much brighter and more colorful in all its brilliant colors. It makes me appreciate the work of the divine more. Sex too hits a high touching the state of ecstasy. In teaching me the Yoga asanas Tavayogi told me that some of those postures would improve sexual life. Indeed it did. 

The sense of touch too is enhanced these days especially in hugging others. Agathiyar advocates that we hug each other. Now I understand why Mata Amritamayi does that. My skin too has become sensitive to the Prana all around us especially when the wind or breeze blows, during the rain showers, or standing in the warmth of the morning sun, touching the greenery, or looking at flowers and butterflies. Agathiyar says, "This is connecting and merging with Prapanjam." Agathiyar in explaining the many instances and forms where Lord Murugan appears in his song "Shanmuga Nayagan Thotram", describes the many ways that Lord Muruga is seen and felt. Among them, he is seen through the eyes as a vision, in the flower fields, when the mind settles, in the breeze that delivers Gnanam, in the chant of his name, in the untouched forest, in the places his devotees are, in the hill fortresses, amidst the crowd of devotees and their dance, in the places of worship, in the silence where the Atma attains bliss, in reaching out to the poor and in giving to them, in forgetting one's body in devotion and bakti, in those who have known the truth, in the gist of Vedanta, at Tiruchendur where the waves break, in Kundalini Yoga, in the merger of Paramatma and Jeevatma, in the service rendered by devotees, in showering him flowers, in the waters that fall, in seeing all as one, in seeing nature, in the winking stars, in seeing him on a peacock, in forgetting the body and watching the Jeevatma, in carrying out Sariyai, in poigai where the Ganges merge, in letting go of opinions and ego, in the rows of light, when Gnanam dawns and in Agathiyar's songs, and he goes on. It is clear that God's presence is very much in nature, all around us, and in all our activities.

கண்களினால் கண்டு பொற்றிடலாம், ஆனந்த மாமலர்ச் சோலையிலே, மன ஆட்டம் அடங்கிய வேளையிலே, ஞானமும் தரும் தென்றல் காற்றினிலே, எழும் நாம சங்கீர்த்தன உற்றினிலே, பக்குவமாம் திணைக் காட்டினிலே, அவன் பக்தர் நுழைந்திடும் வீட்டினிலே, மிக்குயர்வாம் மலைக் கோட்டினிலே, அருள் மேவும் அகத்தியன் பாட்டினிலே, தொண்டர் திரண்டெழும் கூட்டத்திலே, அவன் சுற்றிச் சுழன்றிடும் ஆட்டத்திலே, அண்டர் தினம் தோலும் வானத்திலே, தவ ஆன்ம சுகம் பெரும் மோனத்தில், எழைக் கிரங்கிடும் சித்தத்திலே, பொருள் ஈந்து மகிழ்ந்தவர் அத்தத்திலே, ஊளைக் கடப்பவர் பக்தியிலே, தெய்வ உண்மையைக் காண்பவர் சக்தியிலே, வேதாந்த தத்துவ சாரத்திலே, அலை வீசும் செந்தூரக் கடல் தீரத்திலே, ஆதார குண்டலி யோகத்திலே, பர மாத்ம ஜீவாத்ம வைபோகத்திலே, அன்பர்க்கியற்றிடும் சேவையிலே, உயிர் அர்ச்சனையாய் மலர் தூவையிலே, இன்ப பெரும் புனல் வீழ்ச்சியிலே, காணும் யாவும் ஒன்றென்றுணர் காஷியிலே, நண்ணும் இயற்கை அமைப்பிலே, ஒளி நக்ஷத்திரங்கள் இமைப்பினிலே, விண்ணில் விரிந்துள்ள நீலத்திலே, மயில்மேல் வரும் ஆனந்தக் கோலத்திலே, தேகவிசாரம் மறக்கையிலே, சிவ ஜீவ விசாரம் பிறக்கையிலே, ஆகும் அருட்பணி செய்கையிலே, கங்கை ஆறு கலந்திடும் பொய்கையிலே, மானாபிமானம் விடுக்கையிலே, தீப மங்கள ஜோதி எடுக்கையிலே, ஞானானுபூதி உதிக்கையிலே, குரு நாதனை நாடி துதிக்கையிலே, ...

Looking back at the many Nadi readings I had in the past I am overwhelmed to see his concern and interest in us just as the lecturer monitors a student's progress. Agathiyar had foreseen what was to take place, preparing us for the moment, and often forewarned me too. 

13.10.2007 Though I began to read the Nadi in 2002 this was the very first mention of Kundalini. Agathiyar surprised me by saying that my kundalini had risen. I was not aware of anything. Looking through my collection of books on Yoga I could not relate to the typical signs of kundalini awakening as written in these books. I did not pursue my search nor speak about it to another not even my guru. Tavayogi was not one to entertain talk on Kundalini. உண்டாகும் குண்டலினி சக்தி உனக்கு உயர்வதைக் கண்டு நாங்கள் வியந்தோம் அப்பா. 

18.5.2008 Patanjali came to guide me further in the Nadi reading. He said, "The many practices taught and shown and put into practice shall bring on excessive heat within and tire you out. Hence the need to take sattvic food that cools the body." For a start I was to refrain taking processed food once a week. He asked me to take natural food on Saturdays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. He asked to refrain completly from taking salt, sugar, sour and pungent food. Patanjali tells me that this is his Yoga Suksmam. This is the second instance he spoke about the Kundalini. He said the colors of the aura and the chakras will enhance as a result of Kundalini awakening. ஒப்பிலா உடல் சூடும் தியானத்தால் உனக்குச் சோர்வு வந்திடும் இக்கணம் தன்னில். தான் நீயும் குளிர்ச்சி தரும் பண்டம் தவறாது ஏற்றிட வேண்டும் அப்பா. நிலைத்துத் தான் அங்கத் திடம் ஓங்கச் சிறப்பாக வாரம் ஓர் நாள் மட்டும் செயற்கை உணவு மட்டும் ஏற்கா. மட்டிலா செய், கரி, குரு நாள் தன்னில் மகத்தான மருத்துவத்தின் உணவும் ஏற்பாய் கட்டளைதான் உப்பு, புலி, காரம், இனிப்பும் கண்டிப்பாய் ஆகாது ஏற்க வேண்டாம். பதஞ்சலியின் யோக சூட்சம இதுதான் மைந்தா. வளமிருக்கும் வர்ணமும், ஆதாரமும் சித்தி கொண்டதோர் குண்டலினி ஓங்கும் பாரு. 

30.9.2008 Agathiyar surprises me by saying that the light from the third eye had emerged due to my tapas. But I was not doing much of a tapas in the real sense or according to what is written and read in those numerous books out there. He asks that I seduce and worship the breath or in other words manipulate my breath and learn to control it. "Bigger things lie within the breath," he said. "All the Siddhas passed the test through breath control. Lord Vinayagar and Gautama Buddha who were exponents of this art excelled in it. By gaining control over the breath one can extend his life span and defeat death. All the tapasi attained success in their tapas or tavam through control of the breath. I am sharing the truth with you of our practice and achievements", he concluded. நேர்மையான தவத்தாலே நெற்றிக் கண் ஒளியும், ஒளி அதுவும் உனக்குமே வெளிப்பட்டது இப்போ. கண்ணியமாய் வாசிதனை வசப்படுத்திக் கணக்காகப் புசிக்கச் சிறப்பு தானே. சிறப்புயெலாம் வாசியிலே அடங்கி இருக்கு. சித்தர் எல்லாம் வாசி வழி தேர்ச்சி கண்டார். சிறப்புமிக்க மூத்தோனும் புத்தனும் தான் சிறப்பான வாசிக்கே அதிபதி ஆவார். ஆனதொரு வாசி தன்னை அடக்கினாலே ஆயுளோடு மரணம் இல்லா பெரு வாழ்வு உண்டு. தவசியெல்லாம் வாசியாலே தவமும் பெற்றார். தான் அடைந்த உண்மையெல்லாம் உனக்கு உரைத்தோம். 

8.12.2008 Agathiyar threw more surprises at me. He said, "Through Vaasi practice, the Sulimunai and the top (of head) too has opened. We shall draw the 7 veils and have you see the Jothi. You shall become complete in all aspects. We will create a way for you to attain the Soruba state." All this was news to me. I just did not know what was being said by Agathiyar. Today I realize the reason I did not understand then. I needed the experience and the Arivu and subtle knowledge or Gnanam first before I could comprehend what was said.  வாசி பயிற்சியாலே சுழி திறந்து உச்சியும் திறக்கக் கண்டாய். ஏழுதிரை தன்னை நீக்கி வழுவாது சோதிதனை கான வைப்போம். வையகத்தில் பூர்த்தி நிலை அடையச் செய்வோம். சொரூப நிலை யாவும் பெற வழியும் செய்வோம். 

27.8.2009 Agathiyar gives further practice on Tava Suksmam to do for 2 Mandalas (48 x 2). He dictated, "Taking in the breath stay focused on the chakras above and below the nose. Do this twice aday." I was surprised to know that there were chakras too in the spots Agathiyar said. "It would strengthen the state of Gnana. It shall bring on clarity, power to the thoughts, and access to the Prapanjam." He reiterates again that these are practices they did and are sharing with us. வெற்றி நிலை மிகுந்து காணத் தவ சூச்சமம் தான் விவரிப்பேன். இரு மண்டலம் செய்வாய் நன்றாய். நெறி உடனே தினம் காலை மாலையும் தான் நாசியின் மேல் கீழ் சக்கரம் நோக்கி நோக்கியே தவம் பயிற்சி சில நாழிகை மட்டும் நாசியினுள் நீண்டவாறு வாசியை இழுத்து விட்டுப் பக்குவமாய் பயிற்சியும் செய்து  வரப் பலப்படும் ஞான நிலை பலவாறாக. பலவாறு தெளிவு திடம் சிந்தை கீர்த்தி பிரபஞ்சம் வசிய நிலை திண்ணம். உலகினிலே நாங்கள் செய்த பயிற்சிதான் உவந்து சொன்னோம் உனக்குமே சூச்சம். 

26.12.2009 Again Agathiyar surprises me saying I was on the fringe of attaining Gnanam and that the top has opened. He said "The third eye shall shine. I wanted to give you a treasure." He says that Tavayogi shall grant it. I was clueless as to what he was talking. ஞானத்தின் திறவுகோல் திறந்த பிள்ளை. உச்சியும்  திறந்த பிள்ளை. முக்கண்ணும் பிரகாசிக்கும். தர வேண்டும் போக்கிடங்கள் என்று நினைத்தோம். தவறாது யோகி வழி உனக்குக் கிட்டும். 

None of what was said turned my life around as we read in the books. Life went on as usual. I guess since I had a job and a family they did not want to disrupt my life in any manner. I figured that it all went on within me in a very subtle and gentle way so as not to disrupt my daily life and activities. 

THE JOURNEY IN GOING WITHIN 2

Just as Agathiyar said Ramalinga Adigal came on 14.5.2020 and guided me further. He asks me, "Have you understood the purpose of asking to go within? Do your experience changes within your body? This is only the start. You shall lay the stepping stones and progress at your pace. An effort is needed." I understand now that there are no stones laid out there for us to step on or rungs of the ladder to climb. We lay the stone and place the rung. If we had set our foot on the stepping stones laid out before us by someone else, a pioneer or explorer or master traveling the way before, now we pick up and lay the stones anew and step on it and lay another stone and step further or lay the rungs of the ladder according to our efforts and progress.

"What you are doing currently is wonderful. Continue with it. Watching your breath is right. You are changing its flow correctly. Continue with it. You are on the first step. Prana moving in you is itself Pranava Degam. When you sense the Pranavam you shall question yourself if the Pranam is traveling in you or vice versa, if you are hitching on it and traveling in it. When you reach that state you shall have the answer. That moment shall be one of extreme bliss. Go deep within this bliss. There is more. Whenever you say it is enough you shall tend to gain more. There is much to learn. You have my blessings. I shall travel with you till you reach the destination. I accompany those who go deep within. Follow your breath. Place the effort and you shall reach the destination." உன் உள் பயணத்தை அறிந்து கொண்டாயா? தேக மாற்றம் உணருகிறாயா? இதுவே துவக்கம். உனது முயற்சியே உனது படி. தற்போது நீ செய்து வரும் சிறப்பு. அதைத் தொடர்ந்து செய்து வா. சுவாசத்தை கவனித்துக் கொண்டிருப்பது சரியே. அதை நீ மாற்றிக் கொண்டு வருகிறாய். தொடர்ந்து செய்து வா. முதல் படியில் இருக்கிறாய். பிராண சக்தி ஊடுருவிச் செல்கிறதே அதுவே பிரணவ தேகம்.  பிரணவத்தின் சக்தி உணரும் தருணம் உன் பிரணவத்தால் ஊடுகிறாயா? அல்லது பிரணவம் உன்னுள் ஊடுகிறதா என்று தோன்றும். என்று அப்படியில் காலடி வைகிறாயோ அன்று உமக்கு விடை பிறக்கும். பிரணவத்தின் நீயே அதைக் காண்பாய். அது பேர் ஆனந்தம்.  இன்பத்தில் ஆழ்ந்து கொண்டு வா. இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. போதும் என்ற மனமே பொன் செய்யும் மருந்து. நீ போதும் என்று சொல்லும் நிலை உன்னை அறியாமல் நீ பெற்றுக் கொண்டுதான் இருக்கிறாய். நீ கற்பதற்கு இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. எனது பரிபூரண ஆசியோடு கற்பிப்பாய். உன்னுள் ஜோதி எரியும் வரை நான் உன்னோடு வருவேன். ஆழ்ந்து இருப்போருடன் நான் சேர்ந்து இருக்கிறேன். உமது பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு செல். ஜோதியோடு கலப்பாய்.

"Supramania Swami was the guru who led you to the path of worship to guru. He taught you guru bakti or devotion to the guru. You received the merits from his tapas. Tavayogi too in his light form, is trying to bring salvation to you. He is traveling with you. You traveled in his way and followed his teachings. You spread his fame and helped him attain the state of Jothi. He who is currently with you shall continue to travel with you." சுப்ரமணியன் உனக்கு வழிநடுத்திய குரு. குருவைத் தொடர்ந்திருக்கும் ஒரு சீடன் அக்குருவை எவ்வாறு நடத்த வேண்டும் என்று கல்வியை சுப்ரமணியன் உனக்குப் போதித்தான். அவன் தவ வலிமையை நீ பெற்றாய். தவயோகி ஆத்ம ஜோதியாய் உங்களை கரை தேர்த இன்னமும் முயற்சிக்கிறான். உங்களோடே பயணிக்கிறான். அவன் வழி நடந்து முழுமையாக கடைபிடித்து வரும் ஒரு சீடன் நீ. அவன் புகழை பரப்பிய உன் தவ வலிமையால் அவன் ஜோதி நிலை தொட்டு விட்டான். தற்பொழுது அவன் உங்களை வழி நடுத்த உங்கள் அருகில்தான் இருக்கிறான். இன்னும் இன்றும் உங்களோடு பயணிக்கிறான்.

"The noise around your neighborhood although obstacles but that is Gnanam. Be patient. Through your effort you shall conquer your senses. Till then these shall trouble you." அக்கம் பக்கம் சத்தம் அவைகளே உமக்கு இன்னல்கள். அவைகளே உமக்கு ஞானம். பொறுத்துக்கொள். உமது முயற்சியால் உமது ஐம் புலன்களை அடக்கிடுவாய். அது நடக்கும் வண்ணம் இவைகள் உமக்குத் தொந்திராவு வழங்கும்.

29.6.2020

Ramalinga Adigal surprised me by saying that "The lock to the hidden door between your eyebrows is open now." I had no idea what it was all about. உன் கண் புருவ பூட்டு திறந்து விட்டது.

22.8.2020

Ramalinga Adigal tells me "Use your breath to fan the Jothi. It shall travel through Sushumna and touch Ajna. Then the Jothi is seen. Carry out Nadi Sudhi to raise the Prana. It needs to travel in both nostrils. You shall then rests in completeness or Sudha Paripuranam. Dhyana will be yours then. You are one with the Prana. Pay attention to it. The changes in you is but discharges. It shall leave your body. Do not worry. What you are doing is tavam. Agathiyan has accepted and received it. Hence bath his statue once a week and please him. We shall continue working on your insides and from within." பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு ஜோதியை சுடர் விடச்செய். சுஷும்னா வழி சென்று ஆக்கினை தொடும். பின்னர் ஜோதி தெரியும். நாடி சுத்தி செய்து பிரணவத்தை உயர்த்தவும். இப்போது இரு நாசியில் செல்ல வில்லை. இரு நாசியில் செல்லும் கால் பிரணவம் இடகலை பிங்கலையில் சீராகச் செல்லும் தருணம் சுத்த பரிபூரணத்தில் நீ ஆழ்ந்து இருப்பாய். தியானம் என்பது உனது பரிபூரணம் ஆகும். உனது பிராணவத்தில் கலந்திருக்கிறாய். பிரணவத்தில் கவனம் செலுத்து. உன்னுள் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள் யாவும் கழிவுகள். அகன்று போகும். கவலை வேண்டாம். நீ செய்தது யாவும் தவம். முயற்சி யாவும் அகத்தியன் பெற்று விட்டான். ஆகையால் வாரம் ஒரு முறை நீர் ஊற்றி ஆனந்தம் படுத்திவிடு. உள்ளிருந்து யாவும் நடத்துவோம்.

19.11.2020

Agathiyar in telling the others said that "He shall share his experiences." இவன் அனுபவத்தைப் பகிர்ந்து கொள்வான். 

12.12.2020

Agathiyar tells the others gathered, "Read his writings. They are my thoughts. In the coming days I shall speak a lot about the Atma." இவன் எழுதுக்களை படியுங்கள். அவை என் கருத்து. இனி ஆத்மாவைப் பற்றி நிறைய சொல்வேன்.

Weeks ago Agathiyar came and gave me more good news though its repercussions are affecting my body.

"The water that ponded over time has been discharged. Having the chakras activated in this age has its consequences towards the body. As the heat of the tapas increases the quantity of blood is affected that shall lead to cramps which shall then result in problems in the discharge of urine and faeces. Take the neccesary medicines. Do not worry." தேங்கி இருந்த நீர் வெளி கொண்டது. ஆனபோதும் முதிர்ந்த நிலையில் சக்கரங்கள் திறப்பதனால் உதிர வாட்டம் கொண்டுள்ளது. ஆகையால் எண்கள் மேரு பெறும். முதிர்ச்சியில் சக்கரங்கள் திறக்கும் போது அவ்வுடல் சில பாதிப்பினை ஏற்றுக்கொள்ளும். உனது உடலில் உஷ்ணம் ஏற ஏற உதிரம் குறையும். உதிரம் குறைந்தால் உடல் மரத்துப் போகும். உடல் மரத்துப் போனால் சிறுநீர் கோளாறு கழிவில் கோளாறு ஏற்படும். மருத்துவம் கொண்டு அதைச் சீர் படுத்திக் கொள்ள நன்மையே தரும். கவலை வேண்டாம்.

Agathiyar gives me strength and courage. He says, "Do not be afraid of death. It is but another door to another journey. One who invites death is a Siddha. There is much I need to carry out through you. Enough of my praise. Write about your bodily experiences. Let your writings be about the changes taking place in your body. Let your readers know the changes that take place in the body if they come to worship the light and seek to merge with it. My wisdom shall be your experience. Experience first and I shall clarify the experiences later. Experience is knowledge to you. Nothing is beyond experience." மரணபயம் வேண்டாம்.  மரணம் ஒன்றும் அல்ல. மற்றொரு பயணத்தின் கதவு.  எவன் ஒருவன் மரணத்தை அன்போடு வரவேற்கின்றானோ அவன் சித்தன் ஆகின்றான். உன்னில் இருந்து நான் காரியங்கள் செய்வதற்கு இன்னும் நிறைய இருக்கிறது. எனது பெருமை போதும். இனி உன் எழுத்துக்கள் உடல் மாற்றங்கள் உடல் அனுபவம் பற்றியதாக இருக்கட்டும். ஜோதியினை வழிபட்டால் அதில் இணைய வேண்டும் என்றால் உடலில் எவ்வித மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்படும் என்று உன் வாசகர்களுக்குத் தெரிய படுத்து. உனது அனுபவம் எனது அறிவு. அனுபவமே உனக்கு அறிவு. அனுபவத்தைத் தாண்டி ஒன்றுமே இல்லை. நீ அனுபவம் கொண்டுவா, பின்னர் உரைக்கிறேன். 

Agathiyar gives me confidence saying, "If going within is difficult think of it as a practice for you. Going within will bring you to merge with the Prapanjam. There is no easy way. What you go through is very much easier and milder that what I went through." உள் பயணம் சிரமமாக இருக்குமானால் அதுவே உமக்கு பயிற்சி. ஆழ்ந்து போவது நீங்கள் பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணைவதற்கு. இதற்கு சுலபமான வழி இல்லை. நான் கண்டதை விட நீங்கள் கண்டு வருவது மிகவும் சுலபமானது.

Agathiyar ends the note by telling me that there is no easier way to attain or merge with the breath, the sensation, the vibration, the magnetism, the Prapanjam, and the Jothi. With a little effort from us, the Siddhas shall aid us further. Then the energies will do the rest. The breath is akin to the river that turns the turbine machine in our case the chakras to produce electricity and energy. We have basically become a dynamo. The swirling sensation felt several weeks ago in the abdomen just below my navel is now regularly felt in the top of my head with a lesser intensity. I guess this is what Agathiyar meant when he said I shall feel a magnetic wave arise. The body is now a magnet that is attracting the effulgence from beyond. We understand that while we see lightning appear in the skies and strike things on the ground, there is a small amount of electricity that reaches out to it from the earth. The small amount of electricity meets the larger expanse that is God. A clear nostril is a highway for these energies to hitch on the breath and make their way swiftly to the depo at the top of the head. Over a couple of days it seems more like a flowering of petals and is blissful. Agathiyar previously reminded me not to allow anyone to touch my head. Soon the pandemic came and I never visited the barber till this day. As our journey is one, my wife cuts my hair. Recently when Dhanvantri came I fell before him. He reminded me not to fall at anyone's feet. When God himself restrains us from following this age-old tradition of honoring the elders, masters, and gurus, some refuse to enter the homes of their devotees or temples if Patha Puja or a ritual of cleansing the feet is not done for them. These masters seek and expect that respect is shown and given by way of conducting this ritual. When I invited Tavayogi into my home for the very first time, after I picked him up from the local peedham where he was staying during his duration of stay, upon alighting from the car, he walked briskly into my home. Seeing my daughter document his arrival, he told her to put aside the video camera as coverages were fit only for politicians. Although we had prepared a chair for him, he sat on the floor the moment we began to take our places on the mat. Tavayogi broke a lot of tradition just like Mahakavi Bharathi and the Siddhas. He allowed us to modify the Siddha puja and rituals. There was no hard and fast rule. When I placed several suggestions to the heads of Siddha Ashrams and Peedhams, they refused to alter the long-standing traditions that their masters and masters before them started and carried out.  Now I understand why Lord Murugan told me we were different. 

THE JOURNEY IN GOING WITHIN 1

Continuing the tradition from my parents I carried on home puja in my bachelor's home when I got a job away from my hometown. I visited all the temples in the vicinity regularly. I picked up and practiced Yoga too learning from books. This was between 1980 and 1988. Then there came a period of abstinence between 1988 and 1998 from all my former routines as directed by Lord Shiva in a dream. This was to put on hold all my questions and doubts that were raised on the very existence of the divine whom I saw only bringing down hailstones raining it on his poor devotees around me. People around me were suffering. Why did God who is said to be compassionate and merciful torture his devotees? It did not seem like the act of a compassionate and merciful God. That is when I had the dream asking me to lay off for a while till another day. That day came in 2001. Meanwhile, I was transferred back to my headquarters in Kuala Lumpur promptly. I started a family and only visited temples for their sake. In 1994 I receive a painting of Lord Shiva, the Autobiography of A Yogi (Yogananda), and a few words of advice from a parting colleague who decided to take up monkhood at Yogananda's Ranchi Ashram in India. If before this I only knew the Hindu pantheon of Gods, Yogananda's book exposed me to the existence of masters and gurus. Bringing my children to the National Library often I began to pick up some books on religion and spiritualism. I began to walk into bookshops looking for more books. I began to read again. In 2001 I receive a visitor who brings me God's message. My nephew was used as a vehicle to convey Agathiyar's instructions to me, though I was not told then it was from Agathiyar. This was the moment that Lord Shiva had spoken about in my dream I knew. I began to chant the Vasudeva mantra given to me and started puja to Goddess Ma throughout the days of Navaratri that followed. I was given a painting of Lord Dhakshanamurthy too to worship. I was told that I shall meet my guru soon. A year later I was drawn to read my Nadi. Looking through my past lives and my baggage of karma, Agathiyar sends me on a pilgrimage to carry out remedies besides getting me to conduct Mantra Japam or recitation of mantras of the conventional Gods and Goddesses in the Hindu pantheon. I was asked to pray to the Siddhas too and received a painting of Agathiyar and a small book carrying the names of the Siddhas. As this was new to me I went around looking for places where the Siddhas were worshiped. Looking around I returned home to carry out their worship with whatever little I learned. This is how I started the worship of the Siddhas. My maiden pilgrimage to India to carry out my Pariharam or remedies brought me to my guru, Supramania Swami once my baggage of karma was placed at the Holy Feet of the respective deities during this circuit of temple worship. Three years later they sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram to our shores where I met him. He took me under his wings after Agathiyar commanded me to get a second initiation from him after my second Nadi reading. I was officially accepted into their folds and came directly under his wings after Agathiyar redirected me to go to Tavayogi's Kallar peedham instead of patronizing a local peedham as directed earlier. Five years later Agathiyar had me commission his statue in bronze in the looks of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli, India, to place him at the Sri Jagadguru Sri Raghavendra Mrithika Brindavanam in Ipoh but decided later to stay put in my home AVM. I realize that Agathiyar constantly watches events and our thoughts and the extent of our participation or actions and our commitment to his course and turns a game changer. With Tavayogi giving us tips and Agathiyar giving guidance in subsequent Nadi readings I journeyed with them. There were many practices given and at times I was cautioned too. It is all on these pages of the blog.

After Agathiyar's calling to come to the path, and having been introduced to Tavayogi, who showed us rituals, charity, and Yoga, and as we progressed from Sariyai to Kriyai and stood at Yoga, Agathiyar brought a stop to all external activities and had us go within. Just as Patanjali in his Yoga Sutra brings one to turn around and look within at one juncture, Agathiyar had us go within to tell us that it was enough. 

BKS Iyengar says that sage Patanjali listed ways to attain Yoga or union, beginning with the control and mastery of external issues and finally bringing one within. The eight aspects or limbs of Yoga of which the first five namely, Yama, Niyama, Asana, Pranayama, and Pratyahara are known as a forward journey from the body towards the soul, says Iyengar. Then Patanjali takes us on a reverse path, or a return journey now moving inwards, from the body towards the soul, that is termed as the true renunciation, contrary to the common belief and understanding of renouncing the world. Knowing the seed of consciousness and having realized it Patanjali shows the way to Dharana, Dhyana, and Samadhi. Patanjali shows the way to how one can reach the abode of the soul forever so that all the actions he performs in the world, will not reflect any reaction, hence severing the fine thread of birth and rebirth.

Watching the documentary film "Samadhi - The Pathless Path", it is interesting to relate to and realize that getting to expand our energy or Sakthi as in carrying out Sariyai and Kriyai amounts to going on pilgrimages, doing rituals and puja, carrying out charity, etc they had led us on the Sakthi path. Today in asking us to go within they lead us to the Shiva path, which comprises non-involvement, remaining silent and indifferent to the world, only tending to the thought that arises and eventually subsides. Agathiyar told me recently that there is nothing greater than silence and asked me to adopt it. "Silence is the greatest teaching. The purest teaching. The purest teachings are transmitted in silence. One becomes equanimous with what is. Surrender to what is. Attentive to what is." In saying this the narrator of the documentary gives an account of Buddha's life. 

"Rather than giving a long Satsang or teaching with words, Buddha just let the students sit with a flower for the entire time. Only one student received the transmission. Only one student got it. To receive such a subtle transmission requires a subtle mind." Here the need for us to shift from the gross to the subtler arises. The Siddhas teach just that. We are told that Lord Dhakshanamurthi who had four disciples who sat with him and questioned him realized that there was no end to their questions. He stopped replying and remained silent. In that silence, they all attained Gnanam or enlightenment. 

On 30.1. 2020 Agathiyar gives further instructions to be followed. These practices shall take you further he said after he, through the Nadi, and Tavayogi guided me over the years. He told me that I shall come to know what is right and what went wrong. Both shall be lessons I learn. Whatever is initiated immediately and promptly shall bring on success. He says, "All this while you saw to your needs in this world. Now you shall undertake an internal journey. I shall relate what needs to be done to realize your purpose in coming here." He said I had stagnated. He continued, "You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence follow the practices that I am to give you." நீ செய்தவையில் எது சரி தவறு என்று நீ கண்டறிவாய். அனைத்தும் உனக்குப் பாடம். குறித்த காலத்தில் நீ செய்த அனைத்தும் உமக்கு நன்மை தந்தது. இது நாள்வரை நீ கடந்து வந்தது இவ்வுலக வாழ்க்கையின் பயணம். இனி நீ கடக்க போவது உமது உள்பயணம். அதாவது நீ பிறந்ததின் நோக்கம் அறிவதற்கு நீ செய்யக்கூடிய வழிமுறைகள் யாம் கூற இருக்கிறோம். இதன் மூலம் உமது பிறவி பலனை அதன் நோக்கம் நீ அறிவாய். நீ உலக வாழ்க்கையில் நீர்தேங்கிறாய். இவ்கடிவாளத்தால் உம்மால் மீண்டு வர இயலாது. ஆகையால் யாம் சொல்லும் வழிமுறைகளைச் செய்து வா.

He said further, "Reduce your involvement in outside activities. Sit before me and meditate. During this moment carry out the cleansing breath as taught by your guru. Just the important ones. You shall sense a coolness within. Remain silent in these moments. Focus on your breath. Your breath shall touch the Sulimunai and swirl. Travel along your 7 chakras. That journey shall awaken your chakras. After travesing these chakras when it touches the seventh you shall know your purpose here. This is the right time to start this practice." வெளி உலக பயணம் சற்று குறைத்துக் கொள். தினமும் காலையில் குளித்து வெறும் வேஷ்டி அணிந்து என் முன் அமர்ந்து தியானம் செய்து வா. தியான முறையின் பொது உமது குரு கூறிய சுவாச சுத்திகரிப்பு பயிற்சியினை செய்து வா. அனைத்தும் வேண்டாம். மூல பயிற்சி மட்டும் போதும். அதை நீ செய்து வர உனக்குள் ஒரு தனி குளிர்ச்சி ஏற்படும். அந்நிலையில் நீ அமைதி கோல். உனது மூச்சில் கவனம் கோல். உமது மூச்சு உமது சுழிமுனை தோட்டு சூழும். உமது ஏழு சக்கரங்களில் பயணம் செய். அப்பயணம் உமது சக்கரங்கள் ஒவ்வொன்றாய் பூர்த்தி செய்யும். மூலாதாரம், ஸ்வாதிஷ்டானம், மணிபூரகம், அனாகதம், விசுத்தி, ஆக்கினையென ஏழாவது சக்கரம் தொடும் நிலையில் நீ உனது பிறவிக்கான பலனை அறிவாய். இத்தருணம் மான் மூச்சு குளத்தில் இருக்கிறது. அவை திறக்கும் தருணம் வந்தது. இப்பொழுதுதான் நீ உமது பயிற்சியினை தொடங்க வேண்டும். இந்நிலையில் அச்சக்கரம் முற்றும் திறந்து விடும். 

Agathiyar continued on the changes to be expected, "You shall witness many changes taking place within you. Do not fear. Due to the activation of the chakras your body shall emit foul smell. You shall have constipation. You shall urinate often. Take lots of warm water.  The Agathiyar Kuzhambu you took did help in expelling the 3 dosas. But there still is. It shall be expelled in due time. Carry out the said practice." உடலில் பல மாற்றங்கள் கண்டறிவாய். பயம் கொள்ள வேண்டாம். இச்சக்கரங்கள் புணர்ச்சியால் உன் உடலில் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள், துர்நாற்றம் வீசும், மல சிக்கல் ஏற்படும், கழிவு ஆகும், சிறுநீர் அதிகம் வெளியேறும். வெந்நீர் அதிகம் அருந்து. அன்று நீ உண்ட குழம்பினாள் உன் உடலிலிருந்து வாத, பித்த, கபம் சற்றே அகன்றது. இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. அவை அகலும். இப்பயிற்சியினை மேற்கோள்.

Agathiyar enlightens us further. "When one starts the journey in going within, the result is Gnanam. But it shall vary among people. Hence I cannot say exactly what shall take place. All this while you have gained external knowledge or Ulaga Gnana. Now you shall gain Gnana that is going to serve you." ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம். அவை ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் மாற்றம் பெரும். ஆகையால் அவை நான் இதுதான் என்று சொல்ல இயலாது. நீ இதுவரையில் கண்ட ஞானம் உலக வாழ்க்கை ஞானம். இனி காணப்போவது உனக்கான ஞானம். 

He spoke about his devotees who frequent AVM. "Get those who keep coming over to AVM to sit in meditation. When their external thoughts leave them Gnanam shall dawn on them and they shall take up the path of Gnanam." தவறாமல் வருபவர்கள் கூற வேண்டும் என்றால் அவர்களை அமைதி காத்து தியானம் மேற்கொள்ளச் சொல். அவர்களின் எண்ணம் எப்போ அவர்களை விட்டு விலகுகிறது அப்போ அவர்கள் ஞானம் கைகூடி அவர்கள் ஞான பாதையில் அடி வைப்பார்கள்.

He answered my yearning to pull the shutters down. "You need not go into solitude now. You need to share many things with others. I shall tell you when is the right time to do so. Start this practice first. It shall lead you one further." இன்றைய கணம் நீ தனிமை படுத்திக்க வேண்டாம். நீ பகிர்வது இன்னும் சிலருக்கு தேவை படுகிறது. நான் சொல்லும் நேரம் நீ அதனைத் தொடங்கலாம். இப்பயிற்சியினை முதலில் மேற்கோள். அவை உன்னை வழிநடத்தும். 

He went on to ask me to prepare a concoction and reminded me that it was not to be shared with others. இவ்கமண்டலம் போல் ...... அந்நீர் உமக்கு மட்டுமே. யாரிடமும் பகிர வேண்டாம்.

"Sleep here in the prayer room from now on." உமது  படுகையினை இனி இவ்வறையில் வைத்துக்கொள். நீ படுக்கும் திசையில் உமது சிரசு என் நிலையை நோக்க உன்பாதம் அவ்வினை நோக்க வேண்டும். நீண்டிருக்க உமது வசதிக்கு ஏற்ப படுத்துக்கொள். 

I was overjoyed to hear that Vallal (Ramalinga Adigal) shall aid me too with my practice. "When you realize yourself completely and realize that everything around you is impermanent you shall stand apart from it all. That is to be motionless in all manner or Summa Eruppathu. To arrive at that state increase your Soul Power or gain Atma Balam." உமது பயிற்சியில் வள்ளலும் உமக்கு வழிநடுத்துவான். உன்னை நீ முழுதும் அறிந்து உன்னைச் சுற்றி இருக்கும் கணங்கள் அறிந்து எதுவும் நிலை அற்றது என்று நீ அறியும் அத்தருணம் வெளிக்குள் நீயே வெளி கடப்பாய். அத்தருணமே சும்மா இருப்பது. அது கிடைக்க உமது ஆத்ம பலத்தை நீ கூட்டிக்கொல். 

Agathiyar then throws in a word of caution. "Let go of your anger otherwise you shall not attain Gnanam because your anger in touching the chakras will weaken them. When in anger the blood shall intercept and change the motion of these chakras. When its motion changes the strength of your breath will diminish. Whatever your troubles, leave it to me.  Just carry out the breathing practices. Nothing else is necesary. When you reach the said state an energy or sakti shall enter you. That is Sulimunai." ஒன்று கவனம். இப்பயிற்சி உனது சினம் இறங்க வேண்டும். சினம் இருந்தால் உமக்கு ஞானம் கிட்டாது. ஏன் என்றால் உன் சினம் சிரசை தொட அச்சக்கரங்கள் பலம் இழந்து போகும். நீ சினம் கொள்ளும்போது உன்னை அறியாது உன் உடம்பில் இருக்கும் உதிரங்கள் அதன் சுழற்ச்சியினை மாற்றும். அச்சுழல்சியின் மாற்றங்கள் உமது சிரசின் மூச்சு காற்றின் சக்தி குறைந்து விடும். எதுவாகினும் எம்மிடம் விட்டு விடு. மூச்சு பயிற்சியின் மட்டும் மேற்கோள், மற்ற பயிற்சிகள் ஏதும் வேண்டாம். எனது நிலையை நீ தொடும்போது உன்னை அறியாது உன்னை நோக்கி ஒரு சக்தி உன்னுள் இறங்கும். அதுவே சுழிமுனை.

I remember how he gave me an hour-long lecture on Anger Management in the Nadi back in those days. I immediately knew my mother had reached out to him and he was conveying her worry as I was known to be an angry person. 

ATMA DARISANAM

CW Leadbeater wrote in his book "The Chakras - A Monograph" that contrary to the common belief that the body possesses the soul, "the exact opposite is the truth. Man is a soul and owns a body - several bodies in fact." From this and from reading Neale Donald Walsch's "Conversation with God", reading Tavayogi's "Andamum Pindamum" and from Agathiyar's memo to us, we understand that the Atma or soul, in cohort with the Uyir or breath or prana, assembles the body for its purpose either for want of a new experience or to carry out a specific purpose and hides itself. The Pranavayu is the primary cause of the conception of an embryo and a fetus. The Pranavayu that flows in with the 5 gross elements or tattvas derived from both the parents move to take a shape. We then say life is given to it, or it is alive, or it is breathed into the Pindam. The Atma (Jeevatama) stays with the child for some time and hides behind the curtain waiting for him/her to find it as in the game of hide and seek. In going into hiding, the Atma gives way to his/her karma to unfold for the time being. Contrary to the common belief that the Atma carries the imprints of karma, Agathiyar reveals that the Atma helps clear our karma by showing us the way. When we are caught in the grips of Maya or illusion in this world, we never realize the existence of the Atma. But by the grace of the Guru, we know of its existence in us and take steps to seek it. We realize the importance of the Udal then and begin to treasure it for the Uyir is known through the Udal and vice versa. When he/her begin to question life, the Atma comes to aid in revealing his/her karma and shows the means and methods to subdue it. By engaging in Aram, Dharma, or charity we offset karma. The Atma with the guru comes to do its part in ridding it completely later. When the ego, desire, and attachment are severed or surrendered, we are freed completely. In meditation, it is burnt to ashes. Once karma has cleared, his search for his selfish gain loses its intensity and the search to know the Atma intensifies. His seeking would be solely on knowing the Atma (Agathiyar) and reaching him. Tavam brings the grace of the Atma to draw the veils aside. We become enlightened or attain Gnanam when we arrive at knowing it. That is Atma Darisanam.

Speaking about the chakras, CWL writes,

"In the undeveloped person the chakras are usually in comparatively sluggish motion, just forming the necessary vortex for the force, and no more. In a more evolved man, they may be glowing and pulsating with living light so that an enormously greater amount of energy passes through them, with the result that there are additional faculties and possibilities open to man." We see these energies in full drive in children. It tapers down as we age and in the old, we see them lose the drive or "spirit" to live.

When I asked Agathiyar to make me understand all that I read, saw, heard, and others sharings, he told me that my experience (Anubhavam) shall become my knowledge or wisdom (Arivu). I guess he is asking me to rely on my own experience rather than take on another's. It is interesting to note that in helping us go within, Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal gave us some techniques that slowly moved on to another and another, moving us from placing efforts to having things happen spontaneously. I did not realize this until later. First, in having us go within, they asked us to do Nadi Sudhi. There was an effort on our part in practicing this. They told us that as we placed the effort, so shall we reap its benefits. Later they told us just to observe the breath, telling us that it shall move on its own. We were to just follow it. Here there was no effort or involvement on our part. We stood a witness to it. When Tavayogi told me that breath or Vaasi was God, I did not understand then. Only when we had moved within in Yoga from Sariyai and Kriyai, initially praying to pictures and idols of God, have we come to acknowledge the fact that breath is indeed God. Soon, Agathiyar asked that we observe the vibration (Athirvu) that was felt and follow it. In asking to know his true form as we were laden with so many images of Gods, Agathiyar told us that he was the inner feeling or sensation or Ul Unarvu felt when we sit to meditate, do puja, and do charity. God is now in this vibration. From Pranayama or the practice of tuning and balancing the breath to just being aware and observing it to following the vibration that is set in motion, Agathiyar brings us to watch and move with the Magnetic Wave that arose within now. And I thought nothing was happening. I always told him that I could not go within. Knowing him to only come and explain after we have had the experience, he began to list each feeling and change that took place in me subtly. How could I have missed them? I didn't even realize I was there until he started asking me questions if I had felt, seen, etc. Then he goes on to explain the matter. Asking if I felt or saw some change in me, he would ask me to go with the flow. 

I guess the reason I did not recognize these feelings and changes is that with all the reading, watching, and hearing about the spiritual stuff around us, the experiences spoke of by others, and the eye-catching animations, drawings, graphics, and illustrations accompanying these text and videos, we were tuned to expect something of that nature - to see, feel or experience. Indeed, Swami Tadatmananda says the same in his talk in the video titled "Kundalini Yoga -- as Envisioned by the Ancient Yogis." He says, "I am completely turned off by the way it has been distorted and misrepresented. I am tired of seeing dazzling rainbow-hued chakras, and bodies emitting fountains of light from every pore. Images like these portray a practice that has virtually nothing in common with its ancient origins. Yet, people seem drawn to glitzy illustrations and trendy new-age beliefs."

Finally, once the chakras are open we come to the state of having Siddhis unfold, or that is what the vast literature on it says. Let us wait and see for ourselves.

UNDERSTANDING THE SIDDHAS 2

 Babaji in communicating with VT Neelakantan tells him to take care of his health. VTN writes in "Babaji's Masterkey To All Ills", 

Your body is your temple. It is the horse you ride upon and it must be as fit as a fiddle. It is of utmost importance. Without good health you cannot fulfill my mission - and I want you to fulfill it. I will see you do it. You must make yourself fit for me and my mission.

Babaji goes on to prescribe a diet to strengthen VTN's body to fulfill his mission.

If human birth is said to be rare, it is only proper that the human body is treasured and guarded. But looking around me I feel sad that people do not care for it. When it breaks down only then do they go look for a panacea. The Siddhas were known to care for their bodies hence the reminder from Babaji to VTN too. I too am often reminded to take care of my body and health. Why should they be interested to save us? Why should Agathiyar and Lord Murugan come through the numerous Nadi readings and later come through devotees for our sake? That is the compassion and care the Siddhas show towards us. They are here to draw the veil aside and bring us out of the state of ignorance that has enveloped us for far too long. And what do we do in return? We turn elsewhere, we look elsewhere, and we are preoccupied with other things. 

TR Thulasiram wrote in his booklet "தெய்வீக மனித புது இன சிருஷ்டிக்கு அருட்பிரகாசரும் ஸ்ரீ அரவிந்தரும் அன்னையும்" that Ramalinga Adigal very much wanted others to realize his experience and state. He went further to bring the Jothi within these people and have him rule over them. "தம்மை பொறுத்த மட்டில் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி அனுபவத்தை பூரணமாக தம் ஆதாரத்தின் முழுவதிலும் மேலும் கீழும் உள்ளும் புறமும் சுற்றும் சூழ்வும் மனோபிராண இந்திரியங்கள் உள்பட உடலிலும் நிறைந்து விளங்கும் பேற்றை வள்ளல் பெருமான் பெற்ற இருந்தார். என்றாலும் ஜோதியை உலகிற்கு கொண்டு வரவும் இங்கு நில உலகில் நிலை நிறுத்தவும் கூட்டாக எல்லா மக்களிடை உள்ளும் புறமும் விளங்கி நேரடியான அரசாட்சி செய்யவும் வேண்டி அவர் எல்லா வழிகளிலும் முயன்று ஈடுபட்டு தவங் கிடந்தார்."

We saw his desire and wish to see us attain his state too when he came the very first time on 14.3.2020, calling out to Arutperunjothi to shower his grace and bless us. We had to hold on to the devotee through whom Ramalinga Adigal came, for he was light and seemed weightless. His feet were off the ground and he was I guess levitating. This reminds us of Tavayogi's writings on gravity. As science says that we and everything else on the face of the earth are subjected to the pull of gravity exerted from its center and once we break loose of its force we are space-borne and free, so too man is subjected to this force within his body. By transforming his body chemically he breaks loose of its hold and he is free and liberated. As one energy form is converted to another so too the gross body is transformed into a body of light. பூமியின் ஈர்ப்புச் சக்தியான மையப் பகுதியைக் கடந்து எந்த ஒரு பொருளோ புவி ஈர்ப்புத் தன்மைக்கு அப்பால் சென்றால் அது வெட்டவெளியில் சுதந்திரமாக மிதக்கிறது என்று விஞ்ஞானம் கூறுகிறது. அதேபோல் மனிதனும் தன்னை கீழ்நோக்கி இருக்கும் மூலாதார சக்தியை மேல் நோக்கிச் செலுத்தினால் பிண்டத்தின் ஈர்ப்புச் சக்தியைக் கடந்தால் மனிதனும் வெட்டவெளியில் சுதந்திரமாக இருக்கலாம். ஆனால் மனிதன் உடலில் இருக்கும் வரை மேல்நோக்கிப் பயணம் செய்ய முடியாது. ஆகவே பஞ்சபூத உடலை வேதியியல் மாற்றத்தால் மாற்றி மூல அணுவாக மாற்றிப் புவியீர்ப்புக் கோட்டை கடந்து வெட்ட வெளியில் சேர்ந்து சுதந்திரமாக உலாவுவதே ஞானம் ஆகும். அதுவே சொரூப சித்தி எனப்படும். அதைப் போதிப்பதுதான் சித்தர் நெறி. 

This was what we saw take place before our eyes. Ramalinga Adigal told us that Arutperunjothi blesses us. He sang the following verses in a state of extreme bliss that charged us too. We could sense and feel the energy that came with him and it expanded all around us uplifting us too at the same time. என் பெருமானே என்னுள் வந்து அருளிய ஜோதி அது... என் பெருமான் அருளிய ஜோதி அது.... திரை எனும் திரை எனும் என் பெருமான் காட்டிய திரை அது.... என் அருள் அப்பன் அருள் ஜோதி அது... சீர்ஜோதி அது, பெருஞ் ஜோதி அது... ஏறும் பெரும் ஜோதி அது, என்னுள் அது ஏறும்போது திரை அது விலகியது... என்னுள் அது ஏறும் நிலையில் ஜோதி அது ஜோதி அது... திரை எனும் திரை அது அருட்பெருஞ்ஜோதி அது...

Then he came down to our level and went on to show us the way to bring the effulgence within and keep it burning. திரை விலக உங்களில் இருக்கும் ஜோதி அதனைச் சுடர்விட செய்யுங்கள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் வந்து அத்திரையை விலக்கிவிடுவார். அதுவே இப்பாடலின் பொருள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் இருந்து வழி நடத்தி வருகிறார். அவன் வழியிலே நடந்து வாருங்கள். அத்திரை விலக்குவதற்க்கு அவன் அருள் புரிவான்.

He concluded by telling us again that Arutperunjothi blessed us and that we were on the right track. He added that Agathiyar shall lead us to Arutperunjothi. அருட்ஜோதி உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தது. அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி ஆண்டவர் உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தார். செல்லும் வழி சரி. அகத்தியன் அருட்ஜோதியை நோக்கி அழைத்துச் செல்வான்.

During Agathiyar's Jayanthi on 23 December of 2021, we lit the homam and did abhisegam to Agathiyar's statue. While Mahin was dressing him up, I picked up Ramalinga Adigal's "Agaval" and begin to recite it knowing pretty well that the 1596 verses would take some 2 hours to recite as I have been reading the Agaval solo and with my family numerous times. Though we never could comprehend it we enjoyed the melody. That day I could only recite until verses 305, "நாயினுங் கடையே னீயினு மிழிந்தேன் ஆயினு மருளிய வருட்பெருஞ் ஜோதி", when strong emotions came over me and I began to sob. I struggled to continue further but could not go beyond verse 336. I could feel the words reverb in me having me recall similar experiences. I stopped singing. But to our amazement, Ramalinga Adigal came through a devotee and picked up from where I stopped. His words were not from the original "Arutpa" but were coined in real time. As he took us by surprise, we could only record the later path of his song. It went as follows ........ என்னுள்ளீல் நீ உன்னுள்ளில் நான் அதுவே அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி, .. போகமும் யோகமும் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி,… நீ கடந்து அறிவே நீ அறியும் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி, எல்லாம் செய் சித்தம் சிவனடி சேரும் அதுவே அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி, ஆண்மையும் பெண்மையும் கலந்தன இறுதியில் வெளிப்படும் வெளிச்சமே அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி, இவை எல்லாம் தாண்டிக் கடந்தபின் காண்பது அதுவே அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி, இளமையில் நீ செய்யும் யோகங்கள் யாவும் முதுமையில் சேர்ந்திடும் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி, ஜோதியுள் ஜோதி அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி, குளிர்ந்தது ஜோதி, வெப்பமும் ஜோதி, நீயும் ஜோதி, நானும் ஜோதி, பிரபஞ்சம் முழுதும் ஜோதி, மின்மினி போல் மின்னும் ஜோதி, பரத்தில் இருக்கும் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி, இப்பரதேசியில் காண்பதும் ஜோதி.

God is energy. The Siddhas are energy. The world too is filled with energies. The other realms too are energies. It is all a play of energies. Science tells us that there is sound energy caused by vibrations; light energy from luminous objects; kinetic energy from movements; stored chemical energy; thermal energy or heat or infrared radiation; magnetic energy as in producing vibrations in loudspeakers that in turn produce sound energy and used in turbines to produce electrical energy; electrical energy that produces powerful bolts of lightning and that runs appliances and equipment; nuclear energy found at the center of an atom, the nucleus; elastic potential energy; gravitational potential energy. (Source: Science Geeks)

Similarly, the Siddhas had come as energies when I and my family visited temples. They came as energies during the many Siddha pujas we hosted at AVM. Drawing the curtains close, I was instructed to quit all the Pujas, practices, methods, and means and sit quietly, adopting silence and go within. I am to witness the play of energies that Agathiyar had triggered within by activating my chakras without my knowledge and effort. He comes often but only after the process takes place and I have had the experiences. He reveals what took place. He wants me to share the experience and the science behind it with readers. I am grateful to him. I am indebted to him. He is my savior.

UNDERSTANDING THE SIDDHAS 1

It saddens me to see people see the Siddhas only as medicine men and Siddha practitioners and practitioners of rituals. They know them for their Nadi and ability to see the past, present, and future. Is that who a Siddha is? A Siddha's ability and achievements go beyond performing Siddhis. This is not their core business. They know the secret to transforming this physical body into one that lives beyond the natural life span of a human being. They also know the secret to transform this physical body and its tattvas, purifying it and changing this physical body into that of Pranava Degam and Gnana Degam. Shouldn't we learn this from them instead of eyeing gaining Siddhis or powers to perform feats? We are indeed a disillusioned lot. We have our priorities wrong.

We learned earlier about traveling the internal journey and its corresponding stages, bringing a transformation by purifying the tattvas, enhancing the Uyir or breath, and using them both to reach the abode of the Atma that is Agni Peedham, entering it and merging with the Atma. Once the body separates back into the respective tattvas, now purified, the Uyir or breath merges in the Atma and reaches Agathiyar as the Jothi. But if he who is now considered a Siddha chooses, could prolong his lifespan and keep his physical body intact by means of taking Kaya Kalpa he is then known as a Jeevan Mukthan or one who has attained Jeeva Mukti.

We learn further from V. Balaramaiah in his book "Sarira Thathuvam & Saaga Kalai",

Strengthening the body by means of Kaya Siddhi, and as a result, transforming it, one can live as long as he chooses to avoid or postpone death. Or he could choose to transform the body of gross material of 96 tattvas to that of a subtle nature, bringing the count to 36 or even 24 tattvas, attaining Pranava Degam or Gnana Degam and merging in the Per Oli. This is in fact rebirth. If a Siddha needs to carry out work, he hangs around in the physical body.  Otherwise, they seek to attain the state of oneness with the divine. Agathiyar told me that he had to pull Tavayogi to carry out his work in his realm of Jothi.

உடலை வலிவு பெறச் செய்து ஆதாவது காயசித்தி செய்து அதனால் மறுமலர்ச்சி உண்டாக்கி கால வரம்பின்றி சாவைத் தவிர்த்து உலகில் வாழலாம்.  அல்லது உடலைச் சூக்குமமாகி பிராண தேகமாக்கி ஞான தேகம் பெற்று பேரொளியில் கலந்து ஆனந்தமயத்தில் நிறைவு பெறலாம் என்கின்றனர் சித்தர்கள். இதுவே மாற்றிப் பிறப்பதாம். இவ்விரண்டினுள் சாவு நீங்கிய நிலையில் சித்தர்கள் இவ்வுலகில் தங்களால் ஆகவேண்டிய காரியம் ஏதேனும் இருந்தாலொழிய தூல உடலுடன் இவ்வுலகிடை வாழ்வார்களே. அல்லாமல் இரண்டாவதாகச் சொல்லப்பட்ட கடவுள் தன்மையை அடைவதையே விரும்புவார்கள்.

Transforming the body (Marul Degam) by ridding the body of impurity and in the process making the cells divine (Sudha Degam), and in the process undergoing bodily changes leading to Pranava Degam and Gnana Degam one arrives at Gnana Siddhi easily.

உடலை அமலமாக்கின் இருள் தேகமான இவ்வுடலுள்ள அழுக்குகள் வெளியேற்றப்பட்டு ஜீவ அணுக்கள் தெய்வீகத்தன்மை அடைகிறது. தேகம் பல மாறுதல்கள் அடைந்து பிரணவ தேகம் அடைந்து ஞான தேகம் பெற்று ஞான சித்தி அடைகிறான். ஞான தேகம் கிட்டினால் ஞான சித்தி கிட்டுவது சுலபமாகிறது.

SIVA NADANAM

The bride (Atma) that seeks to meet her beloved travels the path of silence (Mauna Thiru Veethi) within asking the Manam not to interfere or sabotage her yearning to reach the abode of her lover and husband. 

• It is by his grace that we have been given another chance to come back as human beings.
• It is by his grace that we have had good parents, siblings, spouse, and children and family creating a fine surrounding and environment to grow up in.
• It is by his grace that we are seeing another day even as we stand at the 63rd year of life.
• It is by his grace that we were called to his path.
• It is by his grace that we are still on the path after some 20 years.
• It is by his grace that we have come this far on the path.
• It is by his grace that I am able to write these words.

What can I give in return? The most compassionate tells us that he does not want anything. True what can we give him if it isn't his already? The pound of flesh is his. The breath is his. The Soul is his. Every offering we place before him is his in the first place. Tell me something that is mine to offer to him? 

The only thing left for us to do now is to surrender to his Holy Feet and take on the task he gives us. Nothing else will balance the score or repay him for his kindness and compassion. To be his obedient servant and slave and to carry out all his dictates would be the right thing to do.

JNANA JOTHIAMMA

When I knew Tavayogi, he was already a Swamiji. I did not know much about what took place in Tavayogi's life before I came to him though Nadi reader T.Ramesh knows for Tavayogi used to get his Nadi readings read through him. Tavayogi was not one to share about his past life. Though he did preach about the Siddha Marga he hardly spoke about himself and his experiences. I knew only those years after I came to meet him in Malaysia in 2005 till his demise in 2018. Even then, as we were separated by the Indian Ocean, we could only write to each other initially, email, or talk to each other by phone to a certain extent. I got to know more about him each time he visited Malaysia and when I went over to India. So when Jnana Jothiamma came along I was pretty excited as she shared her journey with me through emails, telephone calls, and Skype. I got to know many secrets shared with her by Agathiyar and how Agathiyar began to shape his devotee from the USA. Though she was born in Kerala and schooled in Chennai, she followed her surgeon husband to the USA. We came to know each other after she read my earlier website and emailed me. A wonderful relationship between the two co-seekers took shape over the years till she pass away suddenly in 2017. Though the news of her demise caught us by surprise, I guess she knew it was coming just like my first guru Supramania Swami. While he had told me that his end will come when he was 76 his son later discovered his diary where he had written the exact date - 7.2.2007. Jnana Jothiamma wrote, "My Jenam's Journey nearing completion ... Shan... I have a lot of souls to thank... You have played a very massive role in my life.. and will continue to... till my end..."

I knew of her sufferings in later years as she was transformed slowly to attain a  higher state. Indeed, Agathiyar has made it pretty easy for me in comparison to what she went through and what I assumed Tavayogi went through too from whatever he did reveal at the spur of the moment. Agathiyar yesterday told me what I am going through is nowhere close to what he went through. Jnana Jothiamma in sharing her physical agony told me that I would not be able to withstand it. She told me that at one time she had to pull her bed against the door of her bathroom since she was too weak to get up as at times she would vomit as many as 32 times. I shall recap some of these moments of transition that she shared.

After Agathiyar initiated her at Tavayogi's Kallar ashram in 2011 she briefly went back to the USA, but the pull was too strong that she returned the following year. Since then, she never returned. She undertook a pilgrimage and journey, traveling across India to spiritual destinations that were made known to her in so many mysterious ways. 

Returning after a brief visit to my home Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) in 2013 and again in 2014, Agathiyar commanded Jnana Jyothiamma to go into solitude, refrain from seeing people, and stop all forms of communication through all media. He provided for her secure accommodation through a housing developer in Chennai who was a gem of a person. She stopped coming on Skype but continued mailing me on her progress and transformation. While in isolation and with her health deteriorating further, Jnana Jyothiamma is visited by Siddhas. 

 

On October 15, 2014, she writes to me that she read another Nadi reading and Agathiyar had told her to head to the USA, make a pit stop in Malaysia and return to Chennai once her solitary confinement was over. Her new mission and task later was to preach about the Siddhas, just as Tavayogi was doing. But somehow this did not materialize. She passed away some three years later. Agathiyar too hasn't shared this mystery with me as yet. 

"Dad said I would have to leave back to my son after Thai month... he'll tell me the date and won't be back for a long time… till me 64 yrs... The only important factor is ... I need to be in isolation for some more time… both here and in the USA… then get back.... as a full-fledged Thuravi.....Sanyasin...

But for now, he had her imprisoned in the house that came by his grace only to be visited occasionally by a Siddha or their messengers bringing her good news and medicine. 

"Asked me not to talk with anybody... complete Mounam... inside n outside... and not to post anything too... will elaborate on the reason at a later date. Will tell u a bit more after I recover at least a bit.  I told you a couple of weeks back… that after this pusam... He has asked me to keep away totally... Therefore not to speak, post, or divulge anything to anyone... As he was speaking this I was constantly thinking about you and silently in my mind, I told him... I want to tell Shan, at least a bit... It was then, he suddenly said... "Shanmugam, who is in Malaysia…is my Mainthan. I am with him ..and in his place…and I perform all the miracles from there... He has my Blessings."  I thanked Agathiyan silently in my mind and took this as an indication ...rather permission to share at least a bit with you…about me ..."

"Agathiyan went on to add, how he and his Guru Murugan, had arranged Bhogar to come over to my place and give me the medicine, Navabhashanam for consumption and told me that Bhogar will be coming again to hand over some more to me. He said that I don't have to go here and there, and what is required ... Agathiyan says...will be brought over to where I am. The pleasure of knowing that all these pains (physical) are going to cease and end one day..... and never going to come back... By pain, I meant..... the excruciating pain I experience  … sometimes in my CNS… (central nervous system... hip upwards), and sometimes PNS (Peripheral Nervous System.... hip downwards). When the former activates itself, giving me torment, the latter subsides and vice versa. There is a constant burning inferno within. You won't believe it if I tell you, I feel I am running at a very high temperature. My dresses get warm. My bedsheets get warm... But actually … no fever at all... except very high temperature... like a burning brick kiln... Secondly, the bone marrow and the lubricants get evaporated, due to the excessive heat...And here I am…battling both the external cold and the internal heat... I couldn't move an inch today... I cried to dad. When the pain becomes very intense, I started to cry... 

I recall that Lord Murugan too in treating me told me the same that the gel and lubricants are drying up within me due to the heat of the tapas and the subtle changes taking place. Both Agathiyar and Lord Murugan prescribed some traditional Siddha medicines. 

When she recovered and felt better, she sends me the following mail,

Funny, how life had taken its course... For a very long time, I had been praying to daddy that I wanted to ascertain the following from him. I wanted to know what all I was seeing, hearing, and witnessing and the happenings are all real … and not just a figment of my imagination. Many things are happening, and I understand now fully well, that all I am doing physically also... I feel something/someone is doing …and not me......  Agathiyan told me that since Murugan's energy is inside me... "A pralayam is being created inside you and the intensity is too heavy for you to withstand, hence we have to give to you all these medicines." 

Speaking on the Vedas,

"Dear Shan, I had been receiving some insights today... this is one. Right from early morning... something in me is on overdrive. I penned them down and sent them to Geetha thru Skype and you thru mail. All the teachings and the writings of all the Rishis ... are an offshoot of the Vedas... which was already existent in the Cosmic Spread/Circle... Vedas are not authored. They are intuited by the Rishis… and authored by generations later... Since the Rishis are highly Sattvic Entities, they got intuited and could tap into the Cosmos and receive them. Further, since there was only one Veda initially… and very laborious and humans could neither understand nor decipher them...Vyasa ... divided them into the existent four Vedas... Rig, Sama, Yajur and Atharvana...... Since the Rishis were spread all over the world… they all received it and wrote it down in many languages according to their locale and environment..... Since the Rishis were born at different times and different Yugas, and in different places.. their words and teachings may vary according to the times... but the knowledge of the Vedas was always there ... Ever Existent... the Rishis composed the Sutras (brief aphorisms)... to clarify the teachings." 

Speaking on Karma, she wrote, 

"People should understand the wrong notion they are sailing in... like thinking just with one reading and the pariharams mentioned .. that Agathiyan is completely wiping off the Karma. Karma removal is a process... Agathiyan says... Only based on one Karmic merit… "

Shan, study how karma works. "In the Nadi, where Agathiyan says that sometimes he had to plead with Brahma to give some sanction to the afflicted soul... I understand it this way... Daddy may have to deepen his tapas and intuitively get sanction.... for the afflicted soul... at least to some extent... In this, dad tells that he cannot do anything to completely help him get rid of the karma. He says it is a process and only nivarnam can be given to help one to sustain oneself, to overcome the magnitude and intensity of the problem... Agathiyan will mention the word ...Karma Pariharam...if it is for total eradication. This is a good insight for us ..Shan..."

Indeed what we are given as remedies is a temporary relief from the pain of karma.

MORE CLARIFICATIONS

If I had extreme hunger pangs a couple of days ago, yesterday surprisingly I did not feel hungry the whole day. Upon waking up today I had nausea, my stomach was churning, and I felt dizzy. It felt better after I had vomited. But it was blissful, too.

Last night when Mahindren came over we spoke about the past two posts I'LL BE BACK and WE ARE BUT MERE TOOLS. 

As the tattvas are continuously engaged with the world around us, we miss seeing the Atma that has gone into hiding behind the veil. This reminds me of our kids who hide behind the curtains and ask us to look for them. We see their tiny legs jutting out, yet we pretend to look for them elsewhere. They then giggle to catch our attention or move the curtain. This is fun, right. As in these peekaboo and hide-and-seek games, the Atma hides behind the curtain, waiting for us to come looking for it. As for the tattvas, the guru comes along to bring us an understanding of these tattvas and bring us to an awareness of the existence of the Atma. We are told to purify the tattvas by the heat of our tapas. With the aid of the Uyir or breath through Pranayama, we equally fan the flame and increase the intensity of the jothi within. Once the tattvas are purified, they shed on their own. The breath teams up now with the Atma. The Jeevatma within us merges with the Paramatma and settles in the source or Param.

As Mahin and I discussed the part where the Lord imparts knowledge of the tattvas and the apparent discrepancies in the number of tattvas to Sage Ribhu, we figured that man as a whole is a composite of 96 as he is gross in nature, the Munis as they are subtler in nature know it to be 36 and "those that know Brahman know these to be 24", Agathiyar came and verified and endorsed our understanding. 

He says that what we are in search of has no form when I tell him that though the divine is given forms and names we understood it to be one or Yegan. That is when he goes into explaining the tattvas. He says the One doesn't have tattvas too. Those who take birth as humans come with 96 tattvas. The one among man who takes birth as a Gnani (where he arises to the state of a Gnani) transforms/drops and what remains are 36. Then when one is born as a Brahman (reaches this state) the 36 transforms/drops to that of 24. When he takes the form of the Andam it is only 5 the Pancha Maha Bhutam or namely earth, water, fire/energy, air/wind, and sky/space. Eventually, he will even shed this 5. He reminded us that he had asked us earlier if we were in the Prapanjam or if the Prapanjam was in us. 

நீ தேடி செல்லும் ஒன்றுக்கு வடிவம் இருப்பதில்லை, நாமம் இருப்பதில்லை, தத்துவங்கள் இருப்பதில்லை. மனிதனாகப் பிறந்தவனுக்கு தத்துவங்கள் 96. அவனே ஞானியாகப் பிறகும்பொழுது அவனுக்கு 96 36ராக மாறுது. அதிலே ப்ராஹ்மணாய் பிறகும்பொழுது 24ளாக மாற்றப்படுகிறது. அதுவே அண்டமாய் உருவெடுக்கும்பொழுது 5தாக மாறுகிறது, நீர், நிலம், நெருப்பு, ஆகாயம், காற்று. அதுவே பின்னர் தத்துவமே இல்லாமல் போகும். இவையே அன்று நான் அண்டத்துக்குள் நீ இருக்கிறாயா அல்லது உன்னுள் அண்டம் இருக்கிறதா என்று வினாவை வைத்தேன்.

Agathiyar expresses his wish that each of us should see what he sees. He says the tattvas move us. Call it as atoms if you want. That too is based on tattvas. நான் கண்ட திருக்கோலம் யாவரும் காண வேண்டும். மனிதனின் ஒவ்வொரு செயளிலும்  தத்துவம் தான் அவனை நகர்த்துகிறது. அதை நீங்கள் அணுவென்று அழைக்கலாம். அந்த அணுவும் தத்துவதே ஒட்டியுள்ளது. 

Moving on I asked him since the chakras are activated if I should engage in any further practice. He says there is nothing I need to do. The chakras shall do what needs to be done. Just watch and experience it. ஒன்றுமில்லை. எழும்பிய சக்கரங்கள் தான் இருந்து தன் காரியங்களைச் செய்யும். அவையை அனுபவித்து வா. This I saw happen again this morning, as I had mentioned above. 

I am glad my wife and children are beside me in these moments to assist, though Agathiyar has told them only to watch and come to my aid if I call out. I understand now what he means when he tells me that in comparison to what he went through, my journey was pretty easy. நான் கண்டதை விட நீங்கள் கண்டு வருவது மிகவும் சுலபமானது. Tavayogi too had asked me how was it that I had come to the path so easily when he had to rough it out. 

Agathiyar pointed out that joy is impermanent, for we shall reach another moment of joy and another and another as we journey. எது மகிழ்ச்சி என்று நீ கூறுகிறாய்? நிலையற்றதே மகிழ்ச்சி.

Again he asked that we go within. மௌனத்தில் ஆழ்ந்து போ. When I tell him it is so difficult to go within, he replies that that shall be my effort and practice hence for now.  அதுவே உமக்குப் பயற்சி. He says further that by going within we shall merge in the Prapanjam. ஆழ்ந்து போவது நீங்கள் ப்ரபஞ்சத்தோடும் இணைவதற்கு. 

Telling him my wish that I should understand all things read, seen, heard, listened to, etc. he tells me that my experience shall be my teacher and become a bank of knowledge. அனுபவமே உனக்கு அறிவு.

Sri M shares his story